Marriage is one of the most significant events of life. The decision to commit to someone at a physical, social, emotional, financial, spiritual level requires a lot of courage and understanding. The quality of one’s married life can directly affect their well being.
Just as we invest in our health and professional skills, marriage demands an emotional investment. Constant ups and downs, due to internal or external factors such as personal differences, conflicts of interest, barriers in communication can all cause distress in one’s married life. Marital therapy equips and prepares to sustain the best of yourself and the ability to deal with the worst.
Therapy is an unbiased, objective, based on thoroughly researched, structured and non judgemental approach to disentangle the conflicts in the relationship.
Rather than suffering with your partner and making issues more complicated with blame game, denial, escapist, negative coping methods, it is better to approach a counselor who can reduce the burden and guide you in a way that best suits your interpersonal dynamics.
In family and couples therapy, the entire family or the couple are treated simultaneously – not just the person identified as having the “problem”. The therapy also focuses on enhancing adjustment between the couple and other members of the family unit.
Overcome the hesitation to seek counselling by asking the right questions to yourself:
- Am I happy?
- Why should I not do anything to make myself happy?
- Is it helping me by waiting for the other person to change or understand?
- Is finding fault with the other person really helping me?
- Is there a way to give a try in the right manner?
How to help your partner come for therapy:
- Do not rush the process
- Sit and discuss the differences
- Time and energy is critical – do not waste it by repeatedly going down the same path
- Keep your ego aside to find a solution for yourself
- Avoid argumentative communication. Take a pause. Give your partner time to reflect upon what is happening.
- Do not enforce your thinking on your partner
- Propose the idea of taking professional help instead of engaging in the blame game
- Highlight that ‘there is nothing to lose’ by seeking expert advice